Cimmy's Stories

Exercise #28: Ethan and Emma 27 January 2012

If you look at the Desk Drawer, you’ll find that Exercise 27 has been removed.  So, at the suggestion of wiser heads, I decided to proceed on to Exercise #28. 

Exercise 28 Instructions

This is the 60 word piece I chose:

Brother and Sister went to the same school. They learned math and reading and history. She liked the teacher, but he didn’t. Sister said the teacher was a nice person. Brother said the teacher didn’t like him and kept making him change seats. Sister said Brother just talked too much in class. Mother thinks Brother might just have a problem.

This is my 60 word rewrite:

Ethan and Emma attended Nielsen Private Academy together. The two often disagreed about Mr. Breshears, who taught them calculus, literature and culture. Emma liked him, because he was positive. Ethan didn’t get along with him at all and was often sent home. Emma told her mother that Ethan always questioned Mr. Breshears.  Mom guessed Nielson might be wrong for Ethan.