“I am just sick and tired…”

Any of you who have parents, have probably heard them use this statement a time or two in reference to something that you were doing at the time, eg.  “I am just sick and tired of all that noise!”, “I’m sick and tired of all this rain!”, “I am just sick and tired of cleaning muddy footprints out of the carpet!”  Well, have any of you ever wondered what that felt like?  Here’s a pretty close recipe.

Ingredients
1 child aged six , just starting first grade
1 child aged 16 -18 months, and nearing the end of the teething process.

Process:
This recipe is best started on the night before school starts.

  1. First, be sure both children share a bedroom.  Send your first grader to bed at 8:30 to 9:00 PM so that he or she will get plenty of sleep for their first day of school this year.
  2. Next, attempt to get your one year old to go to bed by ten.  He or she may resist your efforts, in which case any time between eleven PM and one or two in the morning is okay in a pinch.
  3. Set your alarm clock for six thirty and, finally, go to bed.  Since the one year old is teething, expect him or her to wake you up some time in the middle of the night and want love or other midnight services only provided by loving parents.
  4. When your alarm finally goes off, get up and go fix your first grader his or her first sack lunch, and then a nutritious breakfast, all in half an hour.
  5. At seven, attempt to wake your first grader without waking the one year old.  You may or may not have a certain limited success with this.  However, if the one year old wakes up, take care of him or her also.
  6. Urge the first grader to quickly get dressed and come to breakfast. Take them out to the bus stop by 7:30 or 7:45 AM so that they can take the bus to school.  If the one year old is awake, be sure to dress him or her warmly and put him or her in a stroller.
  7. When your first grader is on the bus, vow to get the housework done, but, instead, put your one year old in his or her playpen, if they are awake, turn on PBS and sack out on the sofa all morning and try to sleep.  Wake up from your nap more tired than when you fell asleep.
  8. Repeat steps one through eight for the following seek.
  9. Attempt to sleep in on Saturday and, if possible, Sunday.  If you are having a three day weekend, try to sleep in on Monday also.
  10. Repeat steps one through eight for the next following week, taking note of exactly when your one year old begins showing signs of being sick.
  11. Within a couple of days of this, your recipe should be ready.  Now you should be, officially, sick and tired.

Achoo!!  Urgh.  Looks like I need a serious nap, >snf!< Add sub tissues

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